They are known as Tony and Jo, but he calls her Josephine, and she refers to him as “You Know Who.”  To the casual observer they do not appear to be a lovey- dovey couple prone to public displays of affection; in fact,  their relationship on the surface at times seems contentious.  So what has kept them together for more than sixty-two years?

Both were born to parents who had emigrated from Sicily, the island off the southern tip of Italy with a character and personality of its own. Sicilians are said to be people of contradiction (devil or angel) to be aggressive and opinionated.  One joke is that if you put two Sicilians in a room, you’ll come away with four opinions.  But they are also known to be hospitable and generous, to have a wonderful sense of humor and to value family and togetherness.  One thing for sure, they are rarely boring.

Tony was born in Waltham, MA, to Anthony and Rose Carlisi.  He had one sister who was five years younger, named Estelle. His Catholic education started at St. Charles grammar school, continued at St. Mary’s High School and was completed at Boston College.  After graduation he enlisted with the US Army and was deployed to Korea.

Jo was born in Boston to Joseph and Concetta Spuria and has one younger brother, Anthony.  She attended public elementary school, Our Lady Help of Christians High School in Newton, and was awarded a degree from Regis College.  An exceptional student, she enjoyed her educational experience and after graduation worked for the FBI (at a desk job, not as an agent).   

They met in college while on dates with other partners, but Tony became interested in Jo because she was cute; and he felt comfortable with her because they shared the same background and values. Jo said  Tony “seemed to be a nice guy.”  Their first significant date was at her prom, and that was the night of their first kiss.

They became engaged in 1953 just before Tony went overseas, and Jo did most of the planning for the wedding singlehandedly. They were married on September 1, 1956, at Jo’s parish church and had a lovely reception for family and friends, after which they left for a honeymoon in the Poconos. Tony’s family had voiced concern that Jo was too small to bear children.  That issue was dispelled when their daughter Anne Marie was born in June, 1957 (do the math-that’s nine months) showing that good things do come in small packages.  A son Richard was added to the family thirteen months later.

Tony’s career started with Anchor Fence Company; then he joined Spalding Moss Printing; and then had an opportunity to join Xerox in its infancy.  In the first years of their marriage limited finances, having two small children and making five relocation moves across the country proved to be hardships for the young family.  Fortunately Jo’s Mom lived with them and was able to help..

The challenges took their toll, however, and the couple admitted to not having spoken to one another for a year and a half.  For all that time, they communicated through Jo’s mother whose command of the English language was somewhat limited.  When they did have conversations, they were frequently what most would consider arguments, but which Sicilians referred to as “animated discussions.”

Tony advanced in his career with Xerox, and they moved to the Rochester, NY area, purchasing a house in Pittsford where they have lived for more than forty years.  Jo worked as a real estate salesperson for Red Barn Properties where her kindness and compassion welcomed many transferees to their new home and helped them assimilate into the community.

As recreational pursuits, Tony enjoyed golf and football; he also mentored start-up businesses through the SCORE program and is still active organizing food drives and clothing donations.  One recent delight was his experience on the Honor Flight that he took to Washington, DC, last year with his son.  In the past few years, several health issues have proven problematic, necessitating hospitalization, rehabilitation and a multitude of medical treatments. Jo was with him at every one fulfilling the marriage vow “in sickness and in health, in good times and bad.”

When she isn’t tending to Tony, Jo enjoys reading and knitting among many other interests. She is also adept at using the computer and follows conservative news and views which she can articulate and debate.

After much  deliberation and discussion, the Carlisis are preparing for another move–this time to an all-inclusive resort/adult community in Bucks Head, GA, where they will be near family and can enjoy the myriad activities and luxuries they so richly deserve.

We in Rochester will miss their witty repartee, their generous hospitality and their congenial company, but wish them all God’s blessings in the years to come.

In 1956, the year Tony and Jo were married, Dean Martin sang lyrics comparing love to the moon hitting your eye like a big pizza pie,  imbibing an overabundance of wine and dancing the tarantella, but Tony and Jo have proven through the years that it takes more:  it takes patience, understanding, and commitment.  That’s Amore!

An Old Fashioned Love Story     

A brave young man took a chance

And asked a lovely lass to dance.

An enticing smile he couldn’t miss,

A short while later, an innocent kiss 

Attraction into friendship grew,

And very soon each of them knew

A future together was meant to be

And they began to plan it happily. 

A little diamond for her left hand

Anticipating a wedding band;

A church, a priest, a solemn vow

A life as one commences now. 

A little house that’s filled with love,

Abundant blessings from above,

A lot of laughter, a few sad tears,

A commitment nurtured through the years 

Their hair’s now gray, their pace is slow;

Their days are dwindling, they know;

Though in their hearts they hold the key

To a love that will last through eternity. 

Estelle O’Connell     3/27/18