The Norman Rockwell poster “The Shiner” hung prominently in her home,  representing her indomitable spirit and exuberant personality.  She faced the challenges of life head on and never considered herself a victim, but rather learned from them the lessons of life that made her the strong and independent woman she became.

She was born on January 3, 1942, in New York City to Irish immigrants.  Her father Edmond came from Camas, Newcastle West in County Limerick and was a motorman on the New York City Subway; and her mother, Julia Long came from Athenry, County Galway, and worked as a housekeeper.  She was given the name Mary Ita.  One of the meanings of Mary is “rebellious;” and Ita means “thirsty for knowledge.”  She lived up to both.

Mary had two older brothers, Eddie who was four at the time and Denis who was eighteen months.  There were also many friends and relatives who had come to the States from the “Old Sod” to work at achieving the American dream and who formed a close knit community where love and support were generously shared. The family lived in a neatly furnished brick row house in the Bronx and had a car.  They took trips to visit family and to nearby beaches and amusement parks. They were faithful parishioners at Holy Rosary Church, and the children attended parochial school.  They had all the amenities of childhood—toys, bicycles, nice clothes– and enjoyed playing with the other children in the neighborhood.

But this idyllic life came to an end when her father was killed in a tragic accident when Mary was four, and her mother’s declining health caused her death when Mary was ten.  The three children, now orphaned, were taken to live with their mother’s brother in New Jersey.  Uncle Michael and his wife May had four sons of their own.  This meant Mary grew up in a household with six “brothers.”  She had to learn to hold her own, which she did.

In school she was popular and formed several life-long relationships.  Mary met John Constantine when he returned from a tour of duty with the navy.  They were married in October, 1963, and had three sons within the first four years of their marriage. From previous experience Mary knew how to handle boys. They lived in the first floor apartment of a three unit building that they owned.  It had three bedrooms, a living room and kitchen.  It was not large, but Mary’s Irish hospitality and generous spirit seemed to stretch the walls.

One of our favorite memories is that on Christmas Day when we would drive from our spacious suburban split-level to visit family and friends in the city we would inevitably wind up at Mary’s.  With all the holiday gifts and decorations there was only a narrow path by which to navigate the living room. There was already a crowd around the kitchen table, but somehow they would make room, and we’d be offered a seemingly endless menu of items Mary had prepared:  turkey, ham, lasagna, sausage and meatballs in homemade sauce and several side dishes, followed by delicious desserts (plural). There was always enough room and everyone was welcome.  Mary exemplified the Irish greeting: Caed Mile Failte. (A hundred thousand welcomes)

While her sons were growing up Mary worked at part-time and weekend jobs as a waitress.  When they were old enough to be left on their own, she took classes in real estate sales and insurance brokerage and was licensed in both fields of endeavor.  She was a voracious reader and kept up on all current events—news, politics, sports; and of course formed her own opinions on all issues.

Eventually she took a position as office administrator at a large, well-known printing company.  Her common sense competence and get-it-done attitude made her the go to person for everything and everyone; and her caring, compassionate nature made her the in-house guru for advice and consolation.

Mary didn’t have daughters of her own so when her sons married she was thrilled to have some other females in the family.  How lucky they were to have her as a mother-in-law.  She was generous without being judgmental, supportive, but not smothering, and available but not intrusive.

For all her hard work, Mary enjoyed playing as well.  She and John visited Atlantic City and Las Vegas many times and traveled to Florida, where they especially liked the Keys.  When they retired, they purchased a little house in Orlando which they considered Paradise.  They liked to say, “You never have to shovel sunshine.”   Both made friends easily and became ambassadors of fun in their community.  They went bowling, out for dinner, arranged tours of Disney Land for their out-of-town guests and performed random acts of kindness for their neighbors.

After John passed away in early 2016, Mary’s health started to decline and she seemed to lose the zest for life that had kept her going.  The last time I visited her this past January, we went to the Grand Floridian for high tea and had a wonderful time, but I noticed her spark was beginning to sputter.  She missed her John. Now they are together again for eternity.

“A strong woman carries the burdens of life quietly and survives with a smile.  A really strong woman accepts the war she went through and is enabled by her scars.”  Carly Simon

After seventy years, Mary is reunited with her parents.  They’ll have a lot of catching up to do.  For all the love and  joy she brought into our lives, may she rest in heavenly peace among all the angels in the real Paradise

I pray that Mary’s three granddaughters and one great-granddaughter carry on her legacy of joy, generosity and Love.

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