The seventeen-year-old was identified as Connor Joseph Golembiewski of Flemington, NJ, born on October 31^st, 2001.  I had attended the wedding of his parents, Mike and Veronica, the year before.  His grandmother Mary was first cousin to My BelovED.  She had emigrated from Ireland as a teenager, lived across the street from me in Bayonne with her Uncle Michael and during that time met and married a young man of Polish heritage.  We shared the Irish/Polish connection in our relationships and compared the blessings and benefits of our mixed unions.

Through the years, though we moved to different parts of New Jersey, we kept in touch and updated information about our children and then grandchildren.  Conner was the oldest of Mary’s ten, and she was justifiably proud of all of them, but especially of Connor. When I spoke with her just before Christmas, she told me of his scholastic achievements and his progress in sports.

Connor began playing ice hockey at the age of eight, first as a “squirt” and then as a “bantam.”  He started with lessons and clinics and graduated to playing with a team, the NJ Renegades. He was dubbed a “rink rat” because he spent so much time there, practicing and playing. The hockey season started in August and ran through March, but Connor worked out twelve months always looking to improve  his performance; oh, and his Dad owned the Arena.

His coach said he was “one of those kids coaches love to coach.” “They may not be the biggest, the strongest, the fastest or most skilled, but they make the most of every opportunity to improve.”  He also credited Connor for “having a positive attitude that was contagious and for being the most respectful kid you would ever meet.”

Connor was a junior at Hunterdon County Central High School where he also played on the ice hockey team; and he was an excellent student with a whole world of opportunities to choose from.  Hockey may have been his main sport, but when he had a day off from playing or practice, he went to the slopes.  The tragedy of New Year’s Day was deemed an accident but it cut short the promising  young life.

His coach said he lost not only a player but a friend, as well.  “But that’s not unusual,” he went on to say, “Connor had tons of friends. The number of people who commented and shared posts about the young man says more than anything about his impact over his 17 years.”  Continuing the quote:  “A few months ago I started all five juniors that had played together with our youth program.  This was a very special time for me, for the boys and for their parents as they all grew up together.  They had developed an incredible friendship, admiration, respect and love for each other.”  He called it a privilege to have known and coached Connor Golembiewski.

Public release of information about the New Year’s Day tragedy brought an  outpouring of condolence and support from the teams on which Connor  played and from teams where he might have dreamed of playing. The Eastern Hockey League Premier, where the Renegades suit up, said “Connor will be truly missed,” The Hunterdon Bears cited his “loyalty, work ethic and respect as a player who gave his all every time he came to the rink.”  The NJ Devils of the NHL tweeted that they are deeply saddened to hear of his passing and joined the community in expressing condolences to his family, friends, teammates, coaches, teacher and classmates.

Connor was also a role model for his younger brother and sister and his cousins.  The large extended family got together frequently for special occasions—birthdays, victory celebrations, or just for the fun of it.  This past Christmas they all gathered at his Uncle Walter’s house, and Connor sat on the floor and played with the “little ones” as his grandmother called the younger children.  It didn’t matter to him that it might not have been “cool.”

After investigation, the tragedy was deemed an accident, but of the thousands of people who were skiing that day, why was it Connor who was the victim?  How does one find goodness in such a tragedy?  What words can be used to comfort and console his grieving parents, grandparents, and the rest of his loving family?  Why did God allow this to happen to such good people? Perhaps we must look to John Denver’s explanation:

“As our souls will leave this land most peaceably,

Though our minds be filled with questions,

In our hearts we’ll understand

When the river meets the sea.”

The words imply that some things cannot be fully understood this side of heaven.